Let go

It is hard to let go. To just release. To drop it, leave it. Kick it to the curb and never look back.

Sometimes the thing that we think we want the most, the thing that we can want so bad that we actually rationalize in our mind that not only do we want it, but now, somehow we need it, this thing, it is usually the worst thing for us.

But who am I kidding. "we," "us"... let me fess up here. It is ME. All me. If anyone else feels this same way, great. But I need to stop trying to find someone else to compare excuses with that will then somehow make my excuses seem more "okay", and I will just accept that I am in charge here.

So, lets try again:

The thing I always think I want the most, the thing I want so bad that I actually rationalize in MY mind that I not only want it, but now, somehow I need it. this thing, it is ALWAYS the worst thing for ME.

So, the first step in the right direction is always the cliched path of acceptance. So this is me, accepting. (and I feel better already).

I am also letting go. Releasing. I kicked it to the curb. And I really tried to kick it as hard as I could, but I am as about as tough as a marshmallow when it comes down to it, so it probably would be more honest to say that I coaxed it to the curb sweetly with some milk and cookies and as it was eating and distracted I ran. But never the less, it is at the curb. And I'm working really hard to not look back.