I am being haunted. And I can’t stand it. Haunted by anger and resentment that was disguising itself as sadness. And it keeps washing on the shores of my own personal beaches and breaking all the beautiful shells that rest there, turning them into little scraps and shards and pieces of broken memories and possibilities and ideals and wants and hopes and wishes and dreams.
You ever wake up and go, what the hell am I doing??? Is this my life? How did I get HERE?
Well, I don’t even have to go to sleep to get there anymore. Sometimes, I just have to blink, or close my eyes, hold them shut, make a wish, open them, realize the wish is never going to come true, and then… welcome to my world.
I swear I am mostly happy, and I am trying not to be this way, but I think it is easier sometimes to embrace not trying and just be. Just be. Live. Let it happen as it will and it is easier. I over-analyze everything and I need to stop. And I also need to stop talking. And do more writing.
“Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating.”
I think I forget this sometimes.
Meet me in Montauk. Or Nebraska.
Actually, don’t. I wanna be alone.
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